Why I Do It

There are 6 days left to prove what's possible in the Delta!  This summer has been a new and challenging adventure, but I know that I am going to come out as a better teacher and a better person.

I was looking for some inspiration, and someone very special to me reminded me of a writing piece that hangs by my door.  I wrote this piece at the end of my first year of teaching and I strategically placed it by my door, so I would read it before I went to school every day.  It reminds of me of why I'm here, why I love my job, and why all of the frustration is worth it.  I know each of you has and will have your own reasons for doing this crazy job, but here are mine.  I hope they resonate with you and remind you of the reasons you call yourself a teacher.  

Why I Do It

Life is about more than boosting your resume.  Trust me.  I would not be here teaching in the middle of nowhere if all I wanted was a resume boost.  There has to be something in life that makes it worth getting up each morning.  For me, it's my kids.  Knowing that I can give them the only hug they might get all day or be there to say the first encouraging words they have heard in weeks. 

I get to see the simplest moments translate into the most significant triumphs.  I'm also there for the disappointments and the heart breaks (and trust me I have too many stories to tell in this department).  But at the end of the day, no matter how mad I get or how much I might yell (which i do -- way too often), I can truly believe that my kids know that at least one person loves them (me).  It might sound really cheesy, but it's seriously the only thing that has kept me going through the hardest year of my life. 

These kids who have nothing still have some of the most amazing spirits I have ever seen.  Some of the people I admire most in this world happen to be SEVEN YEARS OLD. 

I know I'm not perfect and there are hundreds of things that I want to change for next year, but this year has been the best and the worst of my life and I will remember it always.  These kids have a piece of my heart forever!

As we push ourselves through the sleepless nights and unappreciative students, we need to remember why we are here. For those of you who are Teach for America, I encourage you to revisit your letter of intent.  Remind yourself why you are here and gear up for the next 6 days!  This job is worth all of the sacrifices, because these kids are worth it.  Just remember that. 

Failure is not an option.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.  

This is what I needed to tell myself several times as I realized 9 out of my 20 students did not bring their homework this morning.  I was initially annoyed because they know the classroom rules about homework and aren't demonstrating responsibility, but I fell into a deeper frustration as my mind began to wander.  Why aren't they turning in homework?  

• Did I not invest them in the purpose of homework?  
• Am I not holding them accountable enough?  
• Was the homework too much or too difficult?  

Ultimately, I decide that while I am responsible for MOST of the things that happen in my classroom, homework and the work done AT HOME is out of my locus of control most days.  I can write my weekly newsletter, I can call parents, I can communicate with students and invest them in the classroom goals and how homework is going to help us get there.  I can do all of those things and some of my students will still NOT DO HOMEWORK.  Aside from being annoying that my students are wasting the paper and ink it took to print 22 copies of each worksheet (which always irks me), I was deeply disappointed in the lack of effort shown by my students and their parents over the weekend.

I feel like I have been in an epic battle to get my 21 students to 3rd grade, and I am more than willing to fight the fight or else I wouldn't be here.  I wouldn't work day and night to maximize my effectiveness and rehearse teaching lessons in my sleep if I wasn't committed to this job and our kids. However, today, with those 9 students, I felt like I was in a fight without anyone else to fight with me.  I cannot do this alone. As teachers, we have power and authority within the walls of our classroom.  We are the leaders and instruction rests on our shoulders.  I truly believe this.  However, in the summer things are different.  The 4 hours a day I actually get to instruct my students IS NOT ENOUGH to get them where they need to be.  The 4 hours a day IS NOT ENOUGH to break all of the bad habits they acquired last year.  There is NOT ENOUGH time for me to do it alone.   

This is why I need the help of the parents.  I need students and parents to be working hard after school to fill in the gaps that I am missing.  I need parents to understand that this is a team effort and I cannot get their child to 3rd grade by myself.  I also need my students to understand that no one is going to hold their hand and make this happen for them magically.  This is real and I feel like some of my kids are not taking it seriously.  It saddens me that the potential of failing a grade does not terrify my students into taking this summer seriously.  Failure is not an option, but for so many of our students, failure has been accepted.  I am not accepting it.  


I let all of this frustration and turmoil kill my spirit today.  I let it take my joy and my smile.  After lunch I was able to look at Deedra and look at Trevon and remember why I am up at 4:00 every morning.  I thought about those 11 kids who came to school with their homework and spent the weekend reading and getting ready to pass their unit test.  I remembered that my job is to serve all of our students and when I lose my spirit, I fail.  I can't fail our kids again.  Failure is not an option.  I am not accepting it.  


So I challenge all of you, as I challenge myself to do tomorrow...find the joy in your classroom.  It might be one student, it might be one moment, it might be a hug or a kind word exchanged between children.  Find your joy. Write it down.  Tell a friend.  Put it somewhere in your classroom or bedroom to remind yourself why we are here.  We are here for Deedra, Trevon, and Zedrian.  We are here for LeDarrion (aka Big Pimp Daddy), Kwendolyn and Shakaunye.  We are here for the students of the Delta and failure is not an option.  Challenge yourself to find the joy tomorrow and keep it with you for the next 8 days.


Failure is not an option. 

9 Days!

This weekend was great, wonderful and relaxing.  I am so blessed to have family, friends and a boyfriend who love me and restore my sanity.  I would not be able to do this job without each and every one of you.  Thank you all. 

With that said...it's time to bring my mind back from the relaxation and into focus.  I have 9 days!   9 days!  I really don't know where the summer has gone, and I am feeling really overwhelmed that in 9 days I will need to make the decision if my 21 students are ready for 3rd grade.  I do not believe that any of them deserve to be retained.  Our job as educators is to provide quality education for our children year after year...because they deserve the best.  There was never a year where I feared not passing...but that is a reality for too many of our students in the Delta.  We know the statistics about students who retain and how it is correlated to future graduation and incarceration rates.  We know that students who fail one grade are significantly more likely to fail again.  I feel the pressure of these statistics on my back, and I can't help but feel tremendously guilty that we as adults have failed these kids.  

There are 21 students in my classroom this summer and more students throughout the school and the Delta who have not received the help at school or at home that they deserve.  It is not the child's fault.  We have failed them, and that makes me feel sick some days.  As a teacher who has had to swallow retaining 7 students throughout my 3 years, I know my place in these statistics.  I feel the guilt of not having pushed those 7 students harder during my 180 days with them.  I feel the anger of being trapped in a system that was not effectively run for so long.  I feel the bitterness toward parents who I judged for not "doing enough" for their kids.  I feel it all.  But most of all, I feel saddened.  I feel sad that so many students in the Delta and across the country are not receiving the education I was so lucky to have.  I feel sad that most of my students will be limited to the experiences within a 30 miles radius of Marks, Mississippi.  I feel sad that I am not able to help them all.  

So where do we go from sad?  How do we get out from the guilt and the sadness that can overshadow the rest of the reality in the Delta?  We need to remember the other side of the coin.  My students are capable.  They are eager, and they are ready for me to give them everything I can.  My students are loving and willing to be loved.  They are passionate when I am passionate.  They are ready for the challenges I set before them if I am ready to lead them there.  Am I ready to be the leader of my classroom for the next 9 days to push these children as far as possible?  Am I passionate about giving them everything I have so that the system does not fail them once again?  Am I focused on the goal so I can keep my students focused on the goal?  If the answer is "yes" to those 3 questions, then we are ready to prove what's possible in the next 9 days!

I need to remember why I'm here:  For the students.  With that in mind, here are my next steps for the week in order to maximize student learning and my own effectiveness:
1.)  Revise schedule to add more Read Well time with a focus on fluency because that's what my students really struggle with.
2.)  Give Mrs. Pryor and Mrs. Wilborn more fluency passages and focus on graphing so students can see their own progress.
3.)  Continue to communicate and invest students in Read Well and math goals because when they understand and embrace the goals, they are more accountable for reaching it.  
4.)  Improve centers to be pushing them with Fry's phrases and sentences writing.  Also, revamp Math centers to work on place value skills and triple digit addition and subtraction with regrouping.  Focus on partner share and check.  
5.)  Remain diligent about homework.  Send home additional reading passages for those students who didn't pass on Friday and word lists to practice.  
6.)  Create flashcards with commonly missed words from the unit 11 and unit 12 tests to review as we walk in the line or wait for lunch/bathroom.  Let's maximize that learning time!
6.)  Instill a sense of possibility in my kids that we can not only reach our class goals but exceed them!  When I believe this, they will believe it!

The next 9 days are going to be busy and hectic, but I know we can achieve our goals.  Those 21 students passing to third grade (and the idea of the beach at the end of July...haha) are my motivation and I won't stop until we get there!  :)  
 

Totally Free Afternoon!

I hope everyone enjoyed their Totally Free Afternoon!  It is really important that we are taking time for ourselves.  Teaching is a demanding profession, but mental sanity is an important characteristic of an effective teacher.  I know we feel like there is always more to do and the work never ends (which it doesn't...haha), but there is a place for a work-life balance.  My first year was exhausting and draining.  I poured everything I had into my classroom, and I was often frustrated because I didn't feel like the work was getting me anywhere.  I look back and realize that I was spinning my wheels without any fuel in the tank.  When I was able to take a step back, reconnect with friends make new relationships, and start to enjoy the my community, I not only became a happier person, but a better teacher as well. I needed to remember that while I may be Ms. Castellano from the hours of 7:00 - 3:00, Lisa needs to be able to have a life as well.  

I bring up this point about work-life balance, because having a personal/social outlet in your life helps relieve some of the constant pressure you may feel in this profession.  Teaching is one of the most demanding jobs.  Period.  Not only are you there to teach them, but you become a nurse, a therapist, a surrogate parent at times, a chauffeur, and even a dentist (haha). With everything going on, it's really easy to lose sight of the people in your life we matter.  Don't be blinded by the stress of the every day grind and forget the people who helped get you to this point, who support you whenever you need it, and who have encouraged you to move halfway across the country to start a new chapter in your life.  Remember those people and reach out to new friends who can take you away (physically and mentally) on a Saturday night or Tuesday afternoon (big thank you to my margarita crew).  Don't lock yourself in your classroom because it might feel like you are only increasing your effectiveness, but really you are losing the spark, the magic, and the spirit that got you here in the first place.   Side note: I know that several people in my life who are going to point out that I need to take my own advice... haha.  I am still a work in progress.  :)


Finally, I hope that after enjoying a fun afternoon, we all come back to school rested, focused and ready for the last half of this journey.  Our students need us.  They need us to be energetic, and prepared.  We have the tools, so now it's about utilizing them in an effective way.  Continue to reach out, continue to be reflective, and continue to be in charge of your own development.  We have 11 school days until the end of summer.  That's it.  We have 11 days to prove what's possible for the kids of the Delta.  I can already see such tremendous growth and there is a culture of learning that is infectious.  I see the new teachers in the building, and I am inspired to do better, to push myself harder, and to constantly ask "what else could I be doing?"  Thank you for inspiring me to renew my enthusiasm for this job.  Thank you for allowing me to reflect in my own practices and mindsets, expose my flaws, and begin the process of true growth.  

With deepest sincerity, I thank everyone who has ever been called a teacher for their work, determination, and commitment to children.  Thank you. 

Interested and Hard Working

I am frustrated.  

If you walked into my room yesterday or peeked in through the window, you would have seen that my students were in their seats, their hands were busy taking notes, and their mouths were closed.  They could get into "ready position" whenever I used my signal and they were not calling out or disrupting others.  On the outside, my students looked engaged...but I know they were not.  I don't know if it was the warm classroom, the cheeseburger sitting heavy in their stomachs, or a lack of enthusiasm on my part, but my classroom was not the environment I wanted it to be yesterday...and that needs to change.  

We talk a lot about being "compliant and on task."  We want 100% of our students to be sitting in their seats, following directions, and paying attention throughout the entire school day.  Students should not be on top of desks, under desks, or aimlessly wandering around the room.  (By the way, all three of these things have happened to me at least once during my 3 years of teaching.)  It makes sense that if students are sitting and generally following the teacher, they will have a better chance of learning.  And ultimately we know we are here for...everyone say it, STUDENT ACHIEVEMENT!  But what happens when "compliant and on task" is not enough?  What happens when following the rules and appearing to be engaged is not what we need to make true academic gains and create that "transformational classroom"?  How do we push students from listening and copying to truly absorbing and owning...not just academic content, but everything they learn in a day?  

The first step is getting to the "compliant and on task" level in your classroom.  This takes time, but ultimately, students need to know you are the leader of the classroom and you will do whatever it takes to teach them the rules and procedures of your room.  If they need you to take 5 minutes out of the day to review a procedure so they are really doing it silently as you directed, then you need to be willing to take that time.  I talk with my students every day about the reason we are in summer school (or the reason we are in school during the regular school year).  Just like Mr. Cormack told us all the first day at Quitman this summer, this isn't about me...this isn't about us.   Whenever students are off task, I remind them of the fact that I am not here for me.  Every second in the classroom is their time.  Their time to promote to the next grade, their time to recover missing credits, or their time to improve their skills so they can start at the top of their grade in the fall.  IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. I say it every day because I want them to be reminded that they have ownership of our time together, and when we spend 5, 10, 15 minutes getting 100% compliance on a procedure, they are losing valuable time.  Compliance isn't about being scary...compliance is about making the situation real to them and giving them a reason to invest in their own development.  I truly believe that the key to the best management is effective investment.  


So if our students are sitting down, are listening and generally on task throughout the day, but their exit slips keep coming back with poor data and you can tell they really aren't engaging with the material...we still have a problem.  Now, there could be multiple reasons for this problem including planning, executing, other external factors...but even a weak lesson can be effective if students are interested and hard working. If students are engaged and purposeful, they can push themselves to excel despite perhaps an ineffective lesson on our part.  The trick is, how do we get them there?  How do we create a classroom culture that is electric with a sense of urgency and possibility?  How do we empower students to be ready for the daily content and see the sense of purpose in everything from academic content to a line procedure?  How do we foster that LOVE OF LEARNING that so many of us talked about in our visions for our classrooms?


There is no ONE correct answers to these questions.  Teaching is an art not a science.  We learn from trying and making mistakes, but there is no quick fix for the problem.  However, I have some ideas.  These are some steps I am taking immediately to move my students from compliant to hard working:

1.)  I need to come in energized and focus.  This means getting SLEEP and eating a lunch.  I am a grouchy, distracted teacher when I am tired and/or hungry...we all are.  Make sure you are taking care of yourself so that you can truly take care of your kids. 


2.)  INVEST INVEST INVEST.  I need to remember to instill not only the sense of urgency with my students, but also a sense of possibility.  They need to know I believe they can achieve our goals so they are able to start believing it themselves.  So much can be accomplished with a positive and encouraging tone.


3.)  Continue to hold high behavior expectations and give clear directions.  Students need to know what I expect AT ALL TIMES so there is no confusion.  They want the structure.  They want you to be in charge.  


4.)  Lighten up!  :)  I need to remember that I want my classroom to be a warm, engaging, and safe place for my kids.  I get wrapped up in the data and the how it looks from the outside...what I need to remember is how I would feel to be a student in my class.  Would it be a place I wanted to be?  Would it be a place were I could learn and love learning?  There is a way to mix structure and joy...and I need to get back to my balance.  


I am feeling confident that Wednesday will be a better day.  I will remember to be engaging, positive...and even a little silly.  The best teachers I ever had were not only firm and experts in the content, but they were silly and made us love learning every day.   I want to be that teacher.

Welcome to My Blog!

This is the first day of my blog and I'm really excited to bring you a look into my classroom every day.  Not only are you going to be able to walk into my classroom and see what's going on, but now you can get into my head, see the good days and the bad days, and understand how a teacher gets through the ups and downs of a school week.    

Here are 3 ways we are encouraging you to be a part of the model classroom:
1.  COME VISIT!   My door is always open.  Pop in during flex time to see the Behavior Management Cycle in action or watch the steps of the lesson cycle.  Make sure to sign the red Observation Binder before you leave so I can follow up with any questions or comments!  :)


2.  Keep up to date with the 2 bulletin boards outside of my classroom.  I will be tracking data, making strategic decisions, and posting my lesson plans so you can see how I deconstruct the parts of the lesson cycle in a clear and effective way.


3.  Read this blog!  :)  I will be spending time reflecting on my classroom, answering questions from the Observation Binder, and passing along other tips throughout the next 3 weeks.  This is a great resource you can use from the DSU dorms to get in touch and get some practical advice.

Before jumping into the content of this blog, I want to spend the first post giving some background about myself because I don't think you can really understand a classroom until you get the whole story.  

I just finished my 3rd year in the Delta (all three years have been at the Quitman County Elementary School).  I was supposed to teaching 3rd grade ELA after Institute then a week before school I was told I was teaching 1st grade.  Initially, I was really scared...but as the year went on and I found my support group throughout the school (Ms. Cozad, Ms. Crowell, Mrs. Wheeler, Ms. Billingsley, and Ms. Weisenberger), I grew to really love the age group.  


That love of 1st graders has never changed, but my skills as a teacher definitely have.   My classroom was not well-managed or well-taught my first year.  I look back on that year and feel a real sense of guilt that I was not able to do more for my kids.  I know I tried my best, but I was not the best teacher for my kids that year.  However, instead of giving up, this motivated me to do better.  So much of teaching is learning from your mistakes, borrowing from other teachers and developing a style all your own.  THIS TAKES TIME!  For those of you who are stressing because your classroom is not running well right now, please remember that this is day 6 of real teaching.  DAY 6!  I was not an effective teacher at day 6, and honestly, I am sometimes not an effective teacher after year 3.  I am opening the doors to my classroom and my data so you all can see that I don't have all the answers, that my students will struggle too, and that what makes a great teacher is being able to ADAPT to those struggles and do what's best for your students.  Together, I hope we are able to HONESTLY reflect on our teaching practices, brainstorm effective solutions, and continually increase our own effectiveness.  


Remember, great teachers are MADE and not BORN.  We are in this together and I hope this blog (and my classroom) can help MAKE you the best teacher possible this summer and beyond.


Please reach out with any personal questions or concerns to lisa.ann.castellano@gmail.com